mindfulness

Why simplicity is the answer to our destructive culture of consumerism

Simplicity vs Consumerism
~ Rachel King ~ 1 Comment

The entrenched culture of consumerism we Westerners live amidst, reaches its tentacles far further than just the physical stuff that we buy.

We consume entertainment. We consume experiences. We consume social media. We consume news feeds. We consume relationships (to the point that we throw them away and get new ones when they no longer work for us). We consume holidays. If we can find a way to consume it, we will.

And this paradigm of consumption is destroying us.

It’s rendering us stressed, unhappy, unfulfilled, discontented, and always in pursuit of the latest thing to consume that will fill the gap.

We know none of these things will. But we continue to live as if they do.

The more I continue on the journey towards simplicity, the more convinced I am that this is the way we were designed to live. To embrace being as more important than doing.

How do we navigate through our culture of consumerism, towards the pursuit of a life of simplicity and meaning?

Simplicity vs Consumerism

Start with your stuff

When you deal in the tangible and the concrete world of your material possessions, you can see the results of living with less. You feel lighter, more peaceful, less stressed by clutter screaming at you on all sides.

But don’t stop there. Once you’ve dealt with your stuff, it often compels you to look around at what other intangible clutter you’ve accumulated in life.

Resist Busyness

Why are you so busy? Until you’ve addressed the why, there is no point tackling the how. Ask yourself what is driving your pursuit of more. Generally it’s a combination of the sense of importance you get from being busy, and being so addicted to busyness that doing less feels uncomfortable, even painful.

But start to sit in this discomfort. Force yourself not to run from it. If you find yourself with a moment of having nothing to do, resist the urge to pick up your phone and fill the void. Sit. Wait. Breathe. Notice what’s going on in your body. In your head. In the world around you. Because it’s in these moments that we can retrain ourselves that it’s ok to stop consuming. That waiting is ok.

It’s in these moments that our souls have a chance to breathe. And we can start to listen to our very selves. And begin to hear the story of our lives speak.

Happy Monday everyone xx

Nothing more is needed for this moment to feel complete

Looking at Mindfulness
~ Rachel King ~ Leave a comment

There’s so much to learn in the pursuit of living a more simple, mindful and intentional life. It takes a strong act of the will to resist the strong current of busyness, distraction, haste and urgency that most of us live our lives in. I’ve been reading, and loving, “Looking at Mindfulness” by Christopher Andre. I love this description of learning to pay mindful attention to the present:

“It’s now, right now. In a little while it will be something else … it won’t be better, or not as good, it will just be different. So now is the time to stop walking, feel the cold air sting our nostrils, listen to all the muffled sounds and admire the extraordinary light of sun on snow. We must stay here as long as we can, not waiting for anything in particular – quite the opposite! Just stay here, doing our best to perceive the countless riches of this moment … everything is perfect. Nothing more is needed for this moment to feel complete. With mindfulness we can simply be present to this ordinary moment of light and grace.”

I love this: “Nothing more is needed for this moment to feel complete.” If we could all grasp a little more of this truth, it would go a long way to stilling the urgent, hassled, stressed pace that we all think is an inevitable part of life. Most things are far less urgent than we make them out to be.

Here’s to this moment, and to celebrating it for what it is. Everything is perfect. Nothing more is needed for this moment to feel complete.

xx

Looking at Mindfulness

Decluttering and Mindfulness: How Getting Rid of Stuff Can Help You Live More Mindfully

Decluttering as Mindfulness Practice
~ Rachel King ~ Leave a comment

We are living such distracted, plugged-in-but-tuned-out lives, many of us have lost touch with our ability to be still, to sit in silence, to do nothing. Mindless distraction is at the tips of our fingers, at all times. But in the midst of this distractedness, we find ourselves craving stillness, singularity of focus, and mindful appreciation of the present moment.

So what does getting rid of stuff have to do with mindfulness?

Anuschka of Into Mind says:

“The state of our living space also tends to be a pretty accurate representation of the state of our mind. Psychological research has shown time and time again how physical clutter overloads our senses and stresses us out. We need a clutter-free environment in order to feel rested, calm and content.”

 

Our stuff pulls us in all directions, and prevents us from living more mindfully in the present. I’ve identified three main selves that our stuff pulls us towards:

Our past self

If you’re sentimental, you’re probably being drawn into this self by your stuff a lot. Those things that were once important or special to you, or that you once loved, and once served a purpose. But do you love them now? Are they serving a purpose now? We can of course make space for a few keepsakes and special memories, just not a houseful of them. A very small handful of the most special things, things that you still love now. Like an old tea set from your Granny, that you still use. Things shut away in boxes tend to burden us, and pull us into the past.

Our future self

It’s far too easy to use the line “I might like (or need) this again one day”, but we can end up overwhelmed by stuff that we are hanging onto, “just incase”. It’s weighing you down. It’s costing you. Give yourself permission to let things go, and live freer and lighter for it. And make peace with the fact that if you need that thing again, go buy it. The benefits of living with less FAR outweigh the cost of replacing the odd thing that you discover you need again after all.

Our imagined self

How many of us hang on to things because we thought we were a certain type of person but aren’t? Did you imagine yourself as the snowboarding type but it turns out you aren’t? Or the type that would wear 6 inch heels everyday, but they’re killing your back and they’re just not “you”? Be honest with yourself about which things are really serving you, and cull the rest.

The more we clear our houses of stuff that no longer serves a purpose in our lives, and keep only that which does, the more space we create to be mindful, present, and to get in touch with our true selves.

[ This post originally published on 7 July 2015 ]

I’m presenting a workshop on “Mindful Decluttering” in Auckland next week, on Wednesday 10 May. I’d love you to join me. Head here to buy tickets. 

Silence + Christmas

~ Rachel King ~ Leave a comment

Silence and Christmas seem like mutually exclusive words in this stressed out, rushing, overloaded consumer culture in which we dwell.

Silence is not given much of a platform in our society.

It makes us uncomfortable.

It makes us restless.

It feels like it lacks purpose. Meaning.

But maybe the secret to noticing moments of meaning lies in the silent spaces. Maybe if we are silent long enough, we’ll give our true selves time and space to begin to emerge.

There’s truth to the phrase “pregnant pause”. Lifes’ pauses, or silences, can be pregnant with meaning if we are still long enough to hear them.

I love love love this quote from Irish poet Michael Longley, interviewed on the podcast OnBeing:

“If you don’t have anything to say, say nothing. Silence is part of the enterprise.” ~ Michael Longley

I’ve written less on here lately, for a number of reasons. One small part of the reason is that often the internet just feels like shouting to me.

And I don’t want to join in with more meaningless noise.

I want there to be a reason for saying what I say.

And so sometimes saying nothing is as good as saying something.

Silence

It’s a busy time of year to be contemplating silence, I know.

But what better time to force ourselves to carve out moments of space amidst the noisy, chaotic lives that we create for ourselves.

I can tell you that it’s possible, and your body and soul will thank you for it.

Wishing you all moments of silence this Christmas time,

Rachel xx

5 Powerful Stress Busters To Find Your Place Of Calm

~ Rachel King ~ Leave a comment

We are a culture addicted to stress and busyness. And it’s killing us.

stress2

I used to use stress as my motivational tool, but I’m slowly learning that I can function better and get stuff done more efficiently and effectively, when I operate from a place of calm.

So I’ve stepped off the stress treadmill, and on to a different path. This one looks more like a country road than a treadmill. There’s time to stop and smell the roses. Sometimes I forget where I am, and start acting like I’m on a treadmill again, and get focussed on reaching the finish line. But then I remember that’s not the goal anymore. That being present to this path I’m on is what it means to live life to the full. Getting to the end, fastest, is not.

Here are the 5 best ways I’ve discovered, to spend less time on the stress treadmill, and more time enjoying the beauty of the country roads:

1. Think about dying

Death freaks us out. So thinking about it seems a counterintuitive approach to reducing stress. But there’s a method to my madness. Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, outlines the habit to “begin with the end in mind”. He’s talking about reflecting on your mortality, and one of the exercises involves writing your own obituary. It’s pretty powerful. Taking the time to sit down, and reflect on what you want your life to have looked like when you come to the end of it, will help you assess whether your current state of play accurately reflects where you’re planning on ending up.

The more I’ve reflected on what’s important to me, the more my to do lists and priorities have changed. Because I’ve realised life isn’t about completing the to-do list. It will never be complete. I’ll be chasing it for life. So as I let go of the need to achieve, and refocus my priorities, I’m learning to embrace life’s “interruptions”, realising that often those interruptions are what life’s about, far more than completing that relentless to-do list.

2. Buy less stress

The purpose of advertising is to make us feel dissatisfied with what we have, and with this comes a constant low level stress. The more I’ve jumped off the bandwagon of consumerism, and pursued a lifestyle of less, the more free I’ve felt. Learning to be grateful for what I do have has brought down that niggling stress of always wanting more.

Hand in hand with this comes decluttering, and owning less. Having less stuff in the house means less tidying, less hunting for stuff, less cleaning, less visual clutter, more space, and more peace.

3. Give yesterdays and tomorrows stresses the flick

Mindfulness is the act of paying attention to the present. A lot of our stress revolves around what might happen (stressing about the future), or what’s already happened (stressing about the past). The more focussed on the present we can become, the more we can relax in this moment. Don’t know where to start? Here’s a great mindfulness app to check out.

4. Run the stress off

We all know this, but why is exercise so often the first thing to go? This year, I’ve prioritised exercise, as a non-negotiable daily activity. I’ve done this by setting a regular time each day, early in the morning, before the demands of the day swallow it up. And it’s had arguably the biggest impact on my stress levels of anything I’ve done.

5. Eat less stress

Changing my diet to healthy, sugar free, whole foods has changed my life. When I had 3 kids under 3, I existed on coffee, chocolate, and the kids’ left overs, followed by a glass of wine at night to bring the stress levels down. Over the last couple of years, I’ve drastically cleaned up my diet, and now follow a whole foods diet, along the paleo, low sugar, lines.

I’ve made the changes incrementally, as drastic changes generally result in blow outs, and going back to where we started.

 

So as you enter the busyness of the Christmas season, is there one small change you can make to start the process of bringing the stress levels down?

Life is Letting Go: Why We All Need To Get Good at Decluttering Our Lives

~ Rachel King ~ 3 Comments

All of life is learning to let go.

Letting go of perfection, accepting what is.

Letting go of our youth as we age, and discovering the beauty of wisdom.

Letting go of our kids as they grow up.

Letting go of our expectations of others.

Letting go of our need to control.

Letting go of things that don’t serve a purpose in our lives.

Letting go of our false selves.

 

“If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it … what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul.”  ~ The Bible

 

Learning to let go in the concrete, tangible world of our possessions, is a great springboard for learning to let go of the more intangible things in life.

As we learn to let go:

  • We live lighter and more peacefully in the world and in our minds.
  • We can appreciate beauty without feeling the need to own or control it.
  • We enjoy our friends, our families, our children, for who they are now, not who we think they should be.
  • We get in touch with our true selves.
  • We can learn to find joy in the midst of the messy, beautiful chaos of life.